Time killer…

Traveling to D.C. during the government shutdown in the winter may not seem like the best idea but, after discovering that my airline ticket was non-refundable, I decided to go anyway. I had originally planned on meeting a dear friend for the Women’s March but we then backed out over its anti-Semitic controversy. I had also hoped to catch the final weekend of the Burning Man exhibit at the Renwick Gallery but it was closed because it’s a Smithsonian (read: government run). So, with our departure date drawing closer, my friend and I came up with a big long list of alternative things to do in the area. We had two days to kill.Turns out, we’re really good at killing time. Like, pro-level time killers.On the first full day, we walked around D.C. itself. We ate lunch at the Dirksen Senate Building’s cafeteria where they serve the famous Senate Bean Soup (but we did not eat the soup). Afterward, we saw a big march was heading our way and realized it was the “March For Life” (anti-abortionists). We walked in the other direction to get to the SCOTUS (no RBG sighting, darnit!) and then walked the entire National Mall (which was full of trash) to end up at the Lincoln Memorial (where I just happened to capture that MAGA youth/Nathan Phillips scene).

Over twelve miles we walked on that first day. We went to bed relatively early that night because a) we were exhausted from all the walking and b) we wanted to get up early to go to Baltimore the next day.I had never been to Baltimore before. Did you know it’s only an hour from D.C. by car? I didn’t! We spent the bulk of our day at a place several friends recommended we check out: the American Visionary Art Museum. It’s full of works by self-taught artists and it’s TERRIFIC. We were going to stay for an hour or two and ended up being there for nearly five. I insist you go if you’re ever in town! Don’t miss Sideshow, the independently-run Archie McPhee-like gift shop that’s in the same building. (You know those fortune teller fish? Well, I got two vintage ones… of Huckleberry Hound and Yogi Bear — like these for cheap!)

Because I associate Baltimore with John Waters and because I adore him, I wanted to see a place — any place — he’s touched. So, we headed over to see a Pink Flamingos film locale. And not just any ol’ one… the one where Divine eats dog shit. Yup, I stood right where it happened nearly fifty years ago, fangirling my little heart out.I now love Baltimore. I will be going back someday to kill some more time.

— Rusty Blazenhoff

P.S. Hey, since last issue, I officially became an Elk! If you live locally and want to check out their secret-ish bar as my guest, gimme a holler.

Rusty’s Electric Dreams is a (mostly) weekly inbox zine by Rusty Blazenhoff for positive deviants and the people who love them.

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