The “Give us this machine our daily bread” Edition :: Issue #096


:: :: I have learned that BAGUETTE.VENDING.MACHINES exist  :: ::

Rusty's Electric Dreams

Rusty’s Electric Dreams, an inbox zine by Rusty Blazenhoff
Issue #096 :: The “Give us this machine our daily bread” Edition :: 08:03:2016

Give us this machine our daily bread..

Folks, let me be serious for a minute…

I have made an important discovery.

I have learned that BAGUETTE.VENDING.MACHINES exist.

<pause><deep breath>

WHY on EARTH did someone invent a BAGUETTE VENDING MACHINE?*

Are we at the point in civilization where we need for a contraption to deliver piping hot artisanal bread on demand?

Apparently so. In fact, it’s nothing new. But, what I enjoy most about this one is that they have skinned French culture on top of it.

I will need you to watch this before we go on:

It’s the YouTube video for the machine. Trust me, you need to see this thing.

First of all, this baguette vending machine has a name. It’s called “Le Bread Xpress” and the “A” in the “Bread” is shaped like the Eiffel Tower! I am not making this up!

Did you WATCH the video?!

Did you hear the French music and the lady’s French accent? Did you? Make no mistake, this thing is frickin’ European AF.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this machine HARD. I live because machines like this exist. And, I would TOTALLY 100% buy a delicious, hot, steamy loaf of carbs from this vending machine, if given a chance. I would. No doubt about it. I LOVE vending machines. I love carbs. I love that it’s so… je ne sais quoi. I love that we’ve evolved to make something so… frivolous. So… kitschy.

It’s at 2175 Market Street in San Francisco. The Castro. Who wants to go?


Rusty Blazenhoff
p.s. BREAKING: POKEMONS, In Real Life!

p.s.s. Watch Stranger Things on Netflix! It’s good! Plus, Barb!

*(Please let it be an elaborate art piece.)

Praise: “A vote for Rusty is a vote for you.”
–Victoria Heifner of Milkfed Press

This space intentionally left artisanal

As seen on the Internets


Cruel Shoes

:: Buy books owned and read by famous people via 

:: These Virtual Reality stock photos are EVERYTHING

:: The hidden adult messages in Beatrix Potter

:: Lisa Frank’s rainbow-tastic clothing line Thanks, Jonathan!

:: “Rocket Slides and Monkey Bars: Chasing the Vanishing Playgrounds of Our Youth”

:: The Playa Crawler, a super-neat mutant vehicle by Mark Ellis

:: My friend Kyle’s storytelling app, Campfire, is LIVE

:: Patti Smith’s favorite things

:: Love this: Making graffiti legible

:: Saul Bass has the coolest personalized rubber stamp ever

:: This is like watching the Yule Log on TV for the fire poker to make an appearance

:: “Now Even Deadlier”: Rob Cockerhams’ Gun Show sign prank

Real things you can actually buy: yay!

Giant realistic cat heads from Japan

Artist-in-Residence: Veronica Casson

This image, entitled “En Route,” was created for the “Secrets Everywhere” art show in Alameda, California and became the springboard for a – now mostly complete – storybook.

It shows the book’s protagonist en route to the haunted town of Blackmore for which she is about to embark on an epic gothic adventure.

It was created on bristol board with india ink, Micron pens, watercolor and Copic markers.

Veronica Casson is a Bay Area Illustrator, storyboard artist, and Graphic Designer. She has shown in galleries in San Francisco, New York and San Miguel De Allende, Mexico.  Veronica has worked in comic publishing as a designer for over a decade. She can be found throughout the world with a sketchbook in hand.

More of her work can be found at She blogs at

Veronica’s work is currently showing at the Salada Cafe in Pacifica, California. From now through September.

Events of note


Dill Pickle flavor ice cream by Archie McPhee

[8/12-8/14] Tomorrow Youth Rep’s Fiddler on the Roof at Kofman Auditorium, Alameda [Tickets]
[8/13] Wait But Hi: A Global In-Person Hangout Thanks, Sam!

United States
[Now until 8/19] Tiny Book Show, a touring bookmobile of little books handcrafted by artists and writers

Alameda, California
[8/3, 8/10, 8/17, 8/24] Intro to Cultivating Compassion with Heidi Bennett, at Julie’s Coffee & Tea Garden, 5 PM to 6:45 PM [Tickets]

[8/6] Free Edwardian Picnic Dance: 1906 at Lincoln Park, 10 AM to 4:30 PM

[8/7] Intro to Improv at Rhythmix Cultural Works, 7 PM [Tickets]

[8/8] Self Care Craft Camp with Creative Life Coach Heidi Bennett: “Let’s Color,” 10 AM – 11:45 AM [Tickets]

[8/12-8/14] Tomorrow Youth Rep’s Fiddler on the Roof at Kofman Auditorium [Tickets]

[8/15] Self Care Craft Camp #2 – Let’s Make Coconut Sugar Scrub!, 10 AM – 11:45 AM [Tickets]

[11/5] The 23rd Annual Le Bal des Vampires at Alameda Elks Lodge [Tickets]

Austin, Texas
[8/12] Landry’s Austin, TX Solo Gallery Show, 7 PM to 10 PM Thanks, Piph!

[9/3] Austin Stories Reunion Show at Spiderhouse Ballroom, 10 PM

Las Vegas
[Ongoing] Akhob, an immersive “Ganzfeld effect” experience by artist James Turrell at Louis Vuitton [by appt only: 702-730-3150]  HIGHLY recommended!

Los Angeles

Cool Places to Buy Weird Shit in Los Angeles

[Dates in Summer and Fall] Krampus mask-masking workshop

[8/6-8/7] Scare LA, a convention dedicated to Halloween with Elvira, Pasadena Convention Center

[8/8-10/2] The Tension Experience: Ascension, “more than immersive theatre, more than a haunted house, more than anything you could imagine.  It is a journey into darkness with the possibility of being reborn in the light” [Tickets]

[8/14] BrunchCon LA at The Reef, 9 AM to 3 PM Thanks, Josh!

[Begins 9/13] 8-week long Neon workshop at Lili Lakich Studio, 6 pm to 9 PM

[Until 9/4] “Portrayals And Perceptions Of Gays In Hollywood” at The Hollywood Museum in the Max Factor Building

[10/1] Dolly Parton at Hollywood Bowl [Tickets]

[10/8-10/9] David Lynch’s Festival of Disruption at Ace Hotel via

[12/5-12/8] Henry Rollins at Largo

Mountain View
[9/24] Dolly Parton at Shoreline, 8 PM [Tickets]

New York City
Quirky NYC by Oriana Leckert:
“From Bumper Cars to Torah Taxidermy: A Guide to 25 of Brooklyn’s Most Unusual Museums”
“From Elevators to Outsider Art: A Guide to 16 Under-the-Radar Museums in Queens”

[Ongoing] Sleep No More at The McKittrick Hotel
[Ongoing] Jungle-Ized by Sound Collective, Free
[Ongoing] The Ferry Play on the Staten Island Ferry, $1.99
[Ongoing] More NYC events
[Ongoing] Madame Tussauds New York hyper-reality Ghostbusters Experience

[Until 8/7] Mushroom Cure, “Inspired by a scientific study showing that hallucinogenic mushrooms may cure obsessive-compulsive disorder, Adam Strauss embarked on a program of vigilante psychopharmacology.” [Tickets]

[9/22] Shep Gordon in Conversation with Anthony Bourdain at Kaufmann Concert Hall, 7 PM

[10/26] Opening night for Wilderness, a “multimedia, documentary theatre experience that illuminates the quest for connection within the 21st century American family”

[11/10] Allee Willis is performing in New York City [More details as I get them]


[1st 3 Saturdays in August] Neon soldering party at Cool Neon

[Until 8/14] Opera at the Station, at Oakland’s abandoned station

[8/18] Adventure Design Group, featuring Epic Immersive at the The Go Game HQ, 6:30 PM

[8/27] Puppeteer Tony Urbano at Children’s Fairyland, 2 PM

[8/27] Forbidden Puppet Cabaret at Children’s Fairyland, 21+ [Tickets]

[Until 9/25] Altered State: Marijuana in California at OMCA

[Until 9/9] Kaiser Center Rooftop Garden Concerts, Fridays, 12 PM to 1 PM, Free Thanks, Jewelz!

[8/9] Heather Gold’s YARN at Octopus Literary Salon, 7 PM to 9:30 PM [Tickets]

[8/21] Flash Mob Short Play Festival

[8/31] Mike Doughty (Soul Coughing) performs a Living Room show, $35

[9/10] Exploring Public Art Practices Symposium at Oakland Museum, 1 PM to 6 PM

Paris, France
[Until 8/29] Habiter le Campement, Cité de l’architecture & du patrimoine au Palais de Chaillot

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Portland, Oregon
[8/11-8/15] World Domination Summit [Tickets]

[9/8-9/11] XOXO 2016 at the Revolution Hall [Register]

Sacramento, California
[8/5] If you do me, I’ll do you Opening Art Reception, 6 PM to 8 PM Thanks, Heidi!

San Diego
[8/18-8/21] Tiki Oasis: “Monster Island”

San Francisco
“Best storytelling events in the Bay Area”
Upscale vs. Frugal SF
[Ongoing] Elsewhere Philatelic Society
[Ongoing] More SF events

[Through Oct] San Francisco Neon Survivors and Icons From the Archives, SF Library, Main Branch, 4th floor

[Until 10/30] Stanley Kubrick: The Exhibition at The Contemporary Jewish Museum (highly recommended!)

[Through Sept] Midwayville, a mixed reality popup carnival at SoMa StrEat Food, 7 PM to 12 AM

[8/3 and 8/5] Mass Media Hacking Workshop w/ UBERMORGEN at Gray Area, 6 PM to 9 PM

[8/5-8/7] Outside Lands, Golden Gate Park

[8/6] Raiders of the Lost Ark at Great Star Theater, 3 PM [Tickets]

[8/9] Odd Salone: Archive at DNA Lounge’s Big Room, 7 PM to 10 PM [Tickets]

[8/10] Fireside Storytelling: “Nerve” at Chez Poulet, 8 PM

[8/12-10/1] The Speakeasy: illicit bar, crooked casino, immersive theatrical experience at a discreet location near you [Tickets]

[8/12-8/14] Wes Ander-thon Weekend at Roxie Theater, [Tickets]

[8/13] Daylong Retreat with Michael Taft, 10 AM to 4 PM

[8/14] Chinatown Neon Walking Tour, $15

[8/15] Cherry’s Cheeky Tiki Bang Gang: The Case of the Creepy Christian Camp book launch at Chez Poulet, 7 PM

[8/21] The New Pornographer’s at Stern Grove Festival, Free

[8/27] Tender Nob Neon Walking Tour, $15

[9/14] Fireside Storytelling: “Storyteller’s Choice” at Chez Poulet, 8 PM

[9/16] Bona Fide (7:30)  and Bawdy Storytelling (10:30) at Verdi Club

[9/21-9/22] Dent: Space at Innovation Hangar

[9/29] Bobby Bare Sr. + Bobby Bare Jr. at Doc’s Lab, 8 PM [Tickets]

[10/1] Release party for Chicken John’s The Book of the Un at 111 Minna, $20 admission (includes book price)

[10/12] Fireside Storytelling: “Games People Play” at Chez Poulet, 8 PM

[10/13] Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds: Celebrating the 50th Anniversary, 8 PM [Tickets]

[10/15-10/23] The Natives Are Restless: “From overthrow to uprising, an epic tale of Hawaiian resilience” at The Palace of Fine Arts [Info]

[11/9] Fireside Storytelling: “Caught in the Act” at Chez Poulet, 8 PM

[12/14] Fireside Storytelling: “Hot!” at Chez Poulet, 8 PM

[10/2017] 50th Anniversary of the Summer of Love

San Jose, California
[9/24] Art Party 2016 — An Occasional and Irrational San Jose Arts Fest, 6 PM

SF Bay Area
[Ongoing] Best swimming holes in the SF Bay Area

[10/7-10/9] Art Car Fest [Crowdfund]

Santa Fe, New Mexico
[Ongoing] Meow Wolf [Read this] [Tickets]

[9/2] The 92nd Annual Zozobra

The Obscure, the Charming and the Odd: Mark Pahlow’s Guide to Seattle

Sonoma County, California
[8/12-9/25] We Players presents Romeo and Juliet, “ a site-responsive staging of the classic” in Petaluma Adobe State Historic Park, “a historic old California rancho” Thanks, Albert!

Sun Valley, Idaho
[3/19/2017-3/22/2017] Dent 2017, a creative retreat for people who want to “put a dent in the universe,” as Steve Jobs once said. (Highly recommended!)

Tomales Bay, California
[7/30-7/31] Bioluminescence Kayaking-Salty Sound, “a 24 hour camping trip located on a kayak only group camp site”

Know about a cool happening, soiree, and/or event? I can’t be everywhere and know about everything, so share it with me! I’ll do my best to include it in the next issue.

“People need art in their houses. They don’t need Bed Bath and Beyond dentist-office art. They need weird stuff.”

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Rusty’s Electric Dreams is a weekly inbox zine by Rusty Blazenhoff.

These personally-curated missives are beacons to signal and celebrate the global tribe of “those who understand,” aka “the Others“.

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