NAILBITING ONLY WORKS SO WELL FOR ME

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tl;dr – The way I deal with overwhelming problems is to break them down to smaller parts. I wrote down a list of what exactly is freaking me out about the Trump presidency. For each item on the list, I wrote down an actionable steps I want to take. Your list and actions will likely be different, but I provide my own as an example and you can adapt for yourself from there.

I also have two general guiding principles. First, I need to keep living to my principles and not let a “new normal” set in. Also, I am going to work hard to start conversations outside my silos.

I have faith we can work with what we have. We don’t have any other choice.

This is a love letter to all the people who are having trouble “people-ing,” struggling with the question: what do we do now?

These are my methods. (I’m a middle-age straight white male who organizes people for a living and for fun.) What works for me may not work for you.

I chose to be anonymous because I am still struggling to get my shit together. Sorry, but attention over this would flatten me.

Panic Is No Surprise

There is a feeling of panic: I am freaking out. You are freaking out. We are freaking out.

No surprise: a thing few of us expected and many of us feared, happened. We have president-elect Trump.

The fear, panic and sadness are real, and people should take care of themselves. Grieve, react, vent, and when ready, move forward. And, as more details come out, expect more of the same feelings. Figure out support networks and effective care for you and yours. I am particularly glad I got my weed card, and feel like I am more functional for it.

Break Down Problems Into Actionable Parts

Trump being president-elect is panic inducing to me, but it isn’t an actionable problem. (Unless I was on the electoral college. OH PLEASE, #NASTYWOMAN, HAVE ONE MORE TRICK UP YOUR PANTSUIT’S SLEEVE.)

So, how do you approach a big, inactionable problem? You break it into actionable parts.

I cannot possibly think about the enormity of the impact of the Trump presidency. When I try to, I get caught up in all of the permutations, and can’t process. But, when I look at each element on that list, and give it some space, well… it still is hard.

But, it’s manageable: I can wrestle with those concepts and at least have a perspective on them.  

So, the question I asked myself to break things into actionable parts: What are the things that a Trump presidency will impact that are a concern for you?

My personal, non-exhaustive list of things a Trump presidency will effect that concern me include:

– The environment, specifically global warming and destruction of the natural world

– The rise of acceptable level of hate speech

– A change in abortion rights

– A curtailing of religious freedom

– Making the US unsafe or unfavorable for all immigrants

– Reducing civil rights for all, with rises in: racism, sexism, xenophobia and disablism

– General apathy towards voting

– Questionable economic policy, with a rise in the US deficit of $5.3 trillion dollars ($5,300,000,000,000)

– Erosion of personal privacy, particularly digital privacy

– Rising insecurity of people looking for manufacturing / farming jobs

– Failing national and international security

– The perception that being patriotic or American is more embodied by conservative Christian white families who live in the center of the country and stay home and watch TV, than open minded, inquisitive individuals who explore their world.

Prioritize and Focus

It’s a helluva list, and I will likely keep adding to it.  

But, I can think about each item and consider options for dealing with it.

I know I can’t address them all with the same attention; that would exhaust me. And an exhausted resource is worse than useless: it gets in the way of others and makes poor decisions.

So, I am going to focus on a manageable amount of actions. I am going to do SOMETHING on the rest (make an impactful donation, help amplify their message), but I am going to stay focused on things I have made a priority.

So, what am I making a priority? They are:

  • Things I am truly interested in doing, not things I think I should do
  • Things I will be interested in maintaining over the long haul
  • Things that will actual help, and not just feed my ego
  • Things I have thought through and will make an impact

Everyone’s approach is going to be different. And I don’t have specific advice on how you should address them, but, to provide example, I will let you know what my current plan (or lack there of) for each of these are:

– The environment, specifically global warming and destruction of the natural world

  •    Donate to a respected charity, probably the Sierra Club
  •    Continue to reduce my own footprint and encourage others to do so, avoid activities that increase my footprint, and reward businesses that also practice environmental responsibility

– The rise of acceptable level of hate speech

  • Donate to a respected charity, probably ACLU
  • Interact with people on a human level, creating an environment that actively includes all people, and address speech from all sides that is hateful. As the race with Donald Trump seemed so close, I was planning on doing this work even with a Clinton win.
  • I found this helpful – http://www.usmc-mccs.org/articles/master-the-3-d-s-of-bystander-intervention/
  • I am thinking about learning more about de-escalating situations

– A change in abortion rights

  • Donate to a respected charity, probably Planned Parenthood
  • Show up when my presence may be helpful

– A curtailing of religious freedom

  • Donate to a respected charity, probably ACLU

– Making the US unsafe or unfavorable for all immigrants

  • Donate to a respected charity, probably ACLU

– Reducing civil rights for all, with rises in: racism, sexism, xenophobia and disablism

  • Donate to a respected charity, probably ACLU
  • Interact with people on a human level, creating an environment that actively includes all people, and address speech from all sides that is hateful
  • Show up when my presence may be helpful

– General apathy towards voting

  • I am taking direct action with this, and trying to get people more active throughout the year.

– Questionable economic policy, with a rise in the US deficit of $5.3 trillion dollars ($5,300,000,000,000)

  • > Not sure about this, still struggling

– Erosion of personal privacy, particularly digital privacy

– Rising insecurity of people looking for manufacturing / farming jobs

  • Not sure about this, still struggling
  • Curious how to take the start-up mentality, coding jobs and/or investment capital to Red states

– Failing national and international security

  • Not sure about this, still struggling

– The perception that being patriotic or American is more embodied by conservative Christian white families who live in the center of the country and stay home and watch TV, than open minded, inquisitive individuals who explore their world.

  • I am taking direct action with this, and trying to get people more active throughout the year

Notice how I don’t have a plan for everything? It’s okay. I can come up with them later. And my current plans may change.

Want another perspective on this? Try this: http://www.holyfucktheelection.com/ Not my cuppa tea, but I see the appeal.

A few other thoughts on how I am approaching actions:

  • Personally, I refuse to “fight.” I have spent way too much of my life working away from thI think other people may find the word “fight” to work for them. And if it does, I would encourage them to use it. ae violence and the strife of fighting. I refuse to be radicalized. That said, I will persevere and will work with like minded people. And hopefully convince others to have a more open and understanding viewpoint. I think other people may find the word “fight” to work for them. And if it does, I would encourage them to use it.
  • I am “meh” on the safety pin thing. I thought this is a good read. http://www.theestablishment.co/2016/11/13/questioning-safety-pin-solidarity-revealed-why-i-cant-trust-white-people/ My feeling is “a man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds” – and I will either create that feeling around me or I won’t. Also, I am imposing looking, I doubt anyone would believe it anyhow.

    But everyone telegraphs things differently. Try it, if it makes you happy. Just try not to fall into the trap of letting a badge go to your head and becoming a bossy jerk. And, you know, actually do the things the symbol stands for, even when it isn’t convenient, which is usually the only time it matters.
  • I am new to the world of donations and hate of getting added to lists. I’ll likely use a service like this: https://www.networkforgood.org – which agregates donations, and lets donators stay anonymous.

    I have the means to donate. A lot of folks don’t. I think the main point here is work with established organizations who already have experience fighting in these areas with whatever means you have. If a bunch of us try to reinvent the same wheel doing the work that has already been done by established organization, we will burn a lot of energy. If we “stand on the shoulders of giants,” and use the work already done by  them, we will get further.
  • I am also considering taking the concept of a swear jar, and turning it into a “persevere” jar. Every time I freak out, or someone else does, I am going to donate $5 to the ACLU. It’s one way I can start to take control of my fears by taking some measurable step, and let me feel more control in my world. 
  • Should I leave the country? Maybe? I am reading my history (https://www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10005468), considering my risk factors, keeping watch on the news, and researching potential places I want to go. Moving is hard, especially if you don’t know anyone there. If I do decide to leave, I am considering how I can add to the communities there (no one likes a freeloader), and how I can aid the communities I am leaving from afar. Could I set up a safe haven for others to join? The more voices that leave, the harder the fight in the country will be. But, at some point, there may be real safety concerns.

    I like having a plan, but think it will be unlikely I will leave.

Stay Normal, By Which I Mean Stay Weird

Before the election, I had a life. One that was full, active and full of joy and marvel. And weirdness. (With the average doses of melancholy, boredom and ennui, for sure.)

I am not going to stop that. Actually, I am going to double down. “Living well is the best revenge.” And we need to show people we live the best life: an America that is a land of opportunity, a melting pot, and a place where we know and care for our neighbors, regardless of race, creed, color, national origin or otherwise. People are people, and that is that. As weird, diverse and annoying as that may be.

We need to stay true to ourselves, stay fresh, stay powerful, stay interested, commit to our beliefs and have people understand “land of the free” requires freedom.

Being wild is a patriotic act. We need to exercise our rights, or they atrophy and we we loose them.

And foreign and domestic conservatives don’t want you to be wild, open or free. They want everyone to stay the same, be like some imagined idyllic past (read your history!), be afraid and be like them.

Reach Out, Beyond Your Silos

To me, isolation is a key to how we find ourselves in this situation.

My idea of the antidote for this? Reach out to your friends, and their friends and maybe some nice strangers. And maybe some just straight up strangers who seems nice. And maybe, take some calculated risks with strangers you aren’t sure are nice, but there won’t be any harm in trying.

And when I say reach out, I mean in person. Web conversations, text messages, watching TV are all masks. Go and see people face to face. Don’t just watch screens. Don’t just strap on headphones. Don’t sit in the same bar and not interact. Talk to people. In person. To their face.

One way to do this is to try going on vacation to a city in the middle of the country this year, and meet folks that way. The City Museum in St Louis is amazing. Meow Wolf in Sante Fe is worth the trip. Ohio City in Cleveland is worth checking out (http://on.wsj.com/1XHWSst). New Orleans is amazing. But, you know, get out a little from the comfort zone while you are doing it. Expect some problems. That is why you are there. I’m headed to these places, and plan to take my friends with me.

Not reaching out to each other is how we get all the “-isms”. You hate what you fear, and you fear what you don’t understand. And understanding is driven by learning and experience. So, meet some nice folks. It may help in driving out “-isms”.

I thought Pokemon Go was brilliant for that: strangers on the street were totally in to talking with each other.

But while I am meeting people, I am going to be earnest and stop trolling each other. Irony was a thing we did. Let’s let it go. And let’s also stop escalating things so quickly, chasing affronts and escalating to the highest level of offense at each opportunity.

I think this story is a good example of trolling and inflaming unwarranted anger that should be avoided:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/11/15/the-crazy-reason-neo-nazis-have-declared-new-balance-the-official-shoes-of-white-people/

Let me temper all of this meeting people stuff: I am not doing it to meet them halfway. I am doing it so they can get to know me. And I get to know them. That I get to understand their point of view. NOT to convert my way of thinking. Or theirs. It’s about creating empathy, not recruitment. Things will take their course from there, I think.

By example: I am not for people having guns. But it wasn’t in the middle of the desert in New Mexico, far away from anyone else, in the middle of the night, did I really get why people out there may want a gun. It’s because in locations like that you have to be your own police force. And plumber, and garbage man, and EMT and… well you get the point. It’s a tool in that circumstance, to do a job. A job people have to do themselves. I still feel the way I do about guns in cities, but now I want to have a more nuanced conversation.

This article seems to go along with this way of thinking  – Research says there are ways to reduce racial bias. Calling people racist isn’t one of them.

http://www.vox.com/identities/2016/11/15/13595508/racism-trump-research-study

Also, I’m consider waving over some of my burned bridges, especially the ones that are ridiculous in light of the looming troubles. Some connections should stay dead, of course, but may some by-gones can be by-gones, so the world can be a safer place?

Practical Advice and Magical Thinking

While I have my problems with it, I found this blog post useful:

http://boingboing.net/2016/11/12/rules-for-surviving-an-autocra.html

Masha Gessen, who grew up in Putin’s Russia, has six rules for us:

1. Believe the autocrat

2. Do not be taken in by small signs of normality

3. Institutions will not save you

4. Be outraged

5. Don’t make compromises

6. Remember the future.

This is mostly meta advice, but it gave me a good framework on how to think about the world we are about to enter into, some blind spots I wasn’t aware of, and how to structure my conversations around the presidency.

And in the face of all else, I found these words by Leonard Cohen useful:

God is alive, magic is afoot

God is alive, magic is afoot

God is alive, magic is afoot

God is afoot, magic is alive

Alive is afoot, magic never died

God never sickened

Many poor men lied

Many sick men lied

Magic never weakened

Magic never hid

Magic always ruled

God is afoot, God never died

God was ruler

Though his funeral lengthened

Though his mourners thickened

Magic never fled

Though his shrouds were hoisted

The naked God did live

Though his words were twisted

The naked magic thrived

Though his death was published

Round and round the world

The heart did not believe

Many hurt men wondered

Many struck men bled

Magic never faltered

Magic always lead

Many stones were rolled

But God would not lie down

Many wild men lied

Many fat men listened

Though they offered stones

Magic still was fed

Though they locked their coffers

God was always served

Magic is afoot, God is alive

Alive is afoot

Alive is in command

Many weak men hungered

Many strong men thrived

Though they boast of solitude

God was at their side

Nor the dreamer in his cell

Nor the captain on the hill

Magic is alive

Though his death was pardoned

Round and round the world

The heart would not believe

Though laws were carved in marble

They could not shelter men

Though altars built in parliaments

They could not order men

Police arrested magic and magic went with them

Mmmmm…. for magic loves the hungry

But magic would not tarry

It moves from arm to arm

It would not stay with them

Magic is afoot

It cannot come to harm

It rests in an empty palm

It spawns in an empty mind

But magic is no instrument

Magic is the end

Many men drove magic

But magic stayed behind

Many strong men lied

They only passed through magic

And out the other side

Many weak men lied

They came to God in secret

And though they left Him nourished

They would not tell who healed

Though mountains danced before them

They said that God was dead

Though his shrouds were hoisted

The naked God did live

This I mean to whisper to my mind

This I mean to laugh within my mind

This I mean my mind to serve

Til’ service is but magic

Moving through the world

And mind itself is magic

Coursing through the flesh

And flesh itself is magic

Dancing on a clock

And time itself

The magic length of God

 

We live in a world where things no longer follow the rules I expected. Magic is helping me understand the world, find connections and have faith. While I don’t expect magic to replace direct action, I am finding solace in it, and am calmed by the sky, the ocean and nature. (The sky will be there tomorrow, and the ocean’s tides still wait for no man, and nature is still boundless and welcoming.)

Hope, Faith and Inevitabilities

The one positive element this is providing me is the motivation to do work that probably should have been doing for the last several years / election cycles. Ugliness is out in the open where it  can be addressed. There is now a new deadline, conversations have been brought to the forefront, elephants in the room are being addressed.

In a way, there is a choice: to sit by and accept a presidency that may wreck a world, or to be active and live in a world of our creation.

I have faith we can work with what we have. We don’t have any other choice.

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