The “Nice girls don’t wear cha-cha heels!” Edition :: Rusty’s Electric Dreams, Issue #133


:: Say hullo to the dong sarong, A John Waters sleepaway camp, Mimi Pond’s “DystopIKEA,” a bus tour of Tom Waits’ LA, and MORE! ::

Rusty's Electric Dreams

Rusty’s Electric Dreams, an inbox zine from the curious mind of Rusty Blazenhoff
Issue #133 :: The “Nice girls don’t wear cha-cha heels!” Edition :: 04:26:2017

Nice girls don’t wear cha-cha heels!…

I’m going to see John Waters tonight at his book signing! Super excited!

–Rusty Blazenhoff
P.S. Have a great week, folks!

This space intentionally left divine

As seen on the Internets


DystopIKEA by Mimi Pond

Absolutely sublime: Mimi Pond’s “DystopIKEANew Yorker cartoon.


:: How millennials hoard…

:: Beginner’s mind ftw: Chip Conley on entering tech at the age of 52

:: Life Interrupted, a strange crowdfunded web sitcom starring Mason Reese, Alison Arngrim (Little House on the Prairie), Erin Murphy (Bewitched) and the incomparable Dawn Wells (Gilligan’s Island)

:: How to bend rules, in style

:: Placed in the Powell Street BART station: Atari’s arcade theatre (1976)
:: Thanks, Doc Pop!

:: How to eat three eggs every morning, under questionable circumstances
:: Thanks, Dan!

:: More sun flare: How to live like the new-new bohemians

:: Danger Ranger describes his experience at Bombay Beach Biennale, that radical “anti-Burning Man” art happening that got press in The New York Times and probably won’t be cool anymore

:: Dilute! Dilute! OK! Thanks, Rocky!

:: TRASHed at Coachella

:: $390K: Shel Silverstein’s bohemian houseboat in Sausalito is for sale

Real things you can actually buy: nay!

Seems a little fishy: My brother Andy spotted this one. It looks like a coffee pot with a fish toy in it, doesn’t it? It’s not. The ENTIRE thing is a toy. It’s a Finding Dory “playset,” and I’m filing it under… #ExplanationDenied.

You have got to be kidding!!

I can’t make this stuff up: Oh Nordstrom, what have you done? $425 for these “heavily-distressed” jeans. Described as “Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.” Now I’m feeling sad for humanity. Also filed under #ExplanationDenied.

Don’t forget to read the reviews.

The Jeado, a Dong Sarong

For grape smuggling purposes: This is the Jeado*, a “dong sarong” marketed to millennial men by “outrageous” clothing brand, Shinesty. My friend Dixie pointed out this is something that would have definitely been in International Male back in the day.

We have SF Slim to thank for this gem. 

*Jean + Speedo = Jeado

Featured events


John Waters' sleepaway camp

Kent, Connecticut
[9/22-9/24] Camp John Waters, Tickets start at $499 (capped at 300 campers!)**

THIS IS A REAL THING! *THE* John Waters is hosting an “all-inclusive campy sleepaway” weekender for freaks likes us this September!

Hairspray Karaoke, Bloody Mary Bingo, a one man show with the man himself… I can’t even. Read for yourself.

If you go: TAKE ME.

**(I wrote this up when I first heard about it. It is now SOLD OUT!)

Thanks, Red Cell!


Los Angeles, California
[Saturday 6/3] Crawling Down Cahuenga: Tom Waits’ LA Bus Tour, starts at The Daily Dose Cafe, 1820 Industrial Street, 12 PM to 4 PM, Tickets are $63

I’m going to admit something unpopular here: I’m not a fan of Tom Waits’ music. But, I fully recognize what a cool guy he is and have heard this 4-hour bus tour of his old LA haunts is worth checking out.

“This is the definitive tour of Tom Waits’ formative creative life in Los Angeles, and the people, places and late night pastries that shaped it.” 

Recommended pre-tour reading: Swordfishtrombones by David Smay

Also in Los Angeles
[9/8, 9/9, 9/10] Muppets Take The Bowl ftg. Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem, Hollywood Bowl, Tickets available on May 6th

[Opens 5/20] Beetle House, an unauthorized Tim Burton-tribute pop-up bar opens in LA, Reservations


Dancehall of Beautiful Radiant Things

Oakland, California
[Thursday 6/1] Dancehall of Beautiful Radiant Things at Starline Social Club, 7 PM to 10 PM, Tickets are available now for $15.

This is such a lovely event. It really is. Even for an introvert with two left feet like myself.

“Upon entry, attendees are given a dance card with 21 spots for 21 songs. Fill your card with friends, with strangers, with secret crushes, with future besties. That’s 21 chances to be present and connect with a dance partner for the length of a simple, 3.5 minute serenade.

No strings attached. No irony. No dancing skills required.”

If you go: This is an opportunity to dress dapper. Do so.


Dancehall of Beautiful Radiant Things

Also in Oakland, California
[Saturday 4/29] In-store meet & greet with artist Michael Wertz at the Oaklandish store, 1444 Broadway (between 14th and 15th),
 5 PM to 7 PM

Loyal RED reader and all-around great guy, Michael Wertz, will be celebrating the release of his new book, ABC Oaklandon Saturday evening. If you don’t know, Michael is an amazing illustrator and print-maker located here in the Bay Area. He’s created rock posters for Camper Van Beethoven, all kinds of stamps for the Elsewhere Philatelic Society, and lots more. He’s even got his own inbox zine and someday he should be this inbox zine’s Artist-in-Residence. Hint, hint.

How cool is this: All 179 kindergartens in Oakland will be getting a copy of ABC Oakland for their classrooms! 

If you go: I will see you there.

Meanwhile, across the Bay in San Francisco:
[4/19-6/3] Adam Strauss’ Off-Broadway hit “The Mushroom Cure” plays at The Marsh, Tickets start at $22

“Inspired by a scientific study showing that hallucinogenic mushrooms may cure obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), Strauss embarked on a program of vigilante psychopharmacology. The true tale of Strauss’ hilarious, harrowing, and heartrending attempts to treat his debilitating OCD with psychedelics…”

AND, also in San Fransisky:
[5/4-5/7] The Gray Area Festival 2017, a “conference, performances, workshops, and an exhibition surveying culture through the lens of art and technology,” Tickets start at $25

One more for the “City by the Bay”:
[6/9] I Didn’t Ask For This: A Lifetime of Dick Pics SF Edition at SOMarts, “a night of art, shopping, charity, boozing, and dicks…Lots and lots of dicks… 150+ unsolicited dick pics,” 7 PM to 12 AM, Early bird discounted tix available


Dancehall of Beautiful Radiant Things

Lake Lodoga, California
[6/15-6/18] Camp Tipsy 2017, East Park Reservoir aka “Lake Lodoga” (which is 135 miles north of San Francisco) Tickets are $160+

I know I’ve mentioned San Francisco Institute of Possibility’s Camp Tipsy before but the event’s lineup has just been announced and it sounds like a lot of fun. It includes a Misfit Cabaret (drag, burlesque, puppets, schtick), Flamenco music and dance, comedy, juggling, goth music and makeovers, and karaoke “shenanigans.” That’s on top of the “rotten boat building contest” and camping with some seriously cool peeps.

My shameful confession: I have never been to Tipsy (but tons of my friends say it’s awesome). 

Palate Cleanser (?): FaceApp


From left to right: Original photo of me, Old AF me (yikes), Me as a bald dude, and “hot” me (I wish!)

I’m thinking I should use the “old af” image on OkCupid and then when I go out on a date, they will see me the real “middle-aged me” and be pleasantly surprised!

Try it for yourself. Share the results with me, if you dare!

Current mood

Cassius ft. Cat Power Pharell Williams | Go Up

This is a snippet from a new music video by Cassius, which features Cat Power and Pharrell Williams. You should watch the entire thing. It’s weird and cool.

“You look at where you’re going and where you are and it never makes sense, but then you look back at where you’ve been and a pattern seems to emerge.”

― RIP Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

“An idea is a set of relationships you unlocked.”
— Damian Kulash of OK Go at a recent TED Talk

Rusty’s Electric Dreams is a weekly inbox zine from the curious mind of Rusty Blazenhoff.

Described as, “One of the most inspiring, weird and off-kilter collections of curated kitschy ephemera for the big-brained.”

People like it.

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