The “Not-as-lazy-as-it-could-be river” Edition :: Issue #182, Rusty’s Electric Dreams



“Hell is other people.” —Sartre

Rusty's Electric Dreams, an inbox zine by Rusty Blazenhoff

An inbox zine for positive deviants and the people who love them
Issue #182 :: The “Not-as-lazy-as-it-could-be” Edition :: 8:01:2018

Not-as-lazy-as-it-could-be river…

Remember how I told you last week I was going to a waterpark? Well, I did and it was awesome. It totally felt like summer — the temperature was 107 degrees! SJ brought a friend and I brought a friend and good times were had by all.

It’s nothing like this

There was one funny thing though. At the park, they have a “Lazy River.” I don’t know if you know about them but apparently they’re a feature in most waterparks. They’re these shallow manmade rivers with a slow current that propels people sitting on inner tubes round and round its course. My first experience with one was last year at this time at the same waterpark.

So, here’s the thing, this isn’t a gentle, leisurely activity as the name seems to suggest. It’s more like an “Active River.” Above the river they’ve got these overhead spouts that pound your head with gallons of rushing water if you float under them. And these jackhammer waterfalls are kind of unavoidable because when you’re wedged butt-down in an inflatable donut, you don’t have much range of motion to get out of the way. So, if you tried to close your eyes and let the river lazily float you along, you’d eventually be in for a rude awakening. What kind of sadist designed this?

It’s fun, don’t get me wrong. But where can I find a true “Lazy River”? Do they exist? I’ve literally only been to this one. Does a “Slothy-Shady River” exist?

Rusty Blazenhoff
P.S. OMG, it’s August already!

As seen on the Internets



:: About Queer Eye: “It’s the pornography of emotional labor.”
:: Podcast: The Hilarious World of Depression

:: Thanks, Jewelz!

:: The Onion reviews Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

:: Astro Sparkin: Machine-learned Burning Man camp names Thanks, Dan!

:: Complete with a skeleton: There’s a little free library in NOLA shaped like a coffin

:: Really Dough?: There’s a new show about pizza with Scott of Scott’s Pizza Tours
:: First one:

:: #Sorrynotsorry

:: An explanation of dog and cat “years”

:: Mr. Kravitz: it’s not about what you possess, it’s about what possesses you

:: “I wish I loved more”: Nonogenarians on regrets, happiness, and dying

:: “Intimacy Director” is a real job in the theater world

:: Do-ocracy in action: Making better restaurant playlists

:: La La Okay: How to pronounce karaoke

:: Well, this is interesting: There’s a group taking on Big Pharma by making their own meds Thanks, Don!

Real things you can actually buy:




Futura backpack

Love these so much: Steve Roche of thingsbuilt makes these retro-styled auto backpacks using chrome classic car emblems, vintage vehicle upholstery, and leather. This particular one is $75. Some cost less, some cost more but all of them are super sharp. (There was one that sold in April that included the car’s ashtray in the design!)

Thanks, Jenny!

Featured Events


Taylor Mac's Holiday Sauce

[11/21-12/1] Taylor Mac’s Holiday Sauce

U.S. National Parks
[11/11] Free day at national parks

Los Angeles, CA
[8/3] Book signing and opening night of the Pop Trash exhibition at La Luz de Jesus Gallery, 8 PM to 11 PM
[8/4] Book signing at Sweet! Hollywood, 1 PM to 4 PM

Oakland, CA
[8/3] Black Velvet Painting Popup Group Art Show

[9/20] The Breakfast Club at Paramount Theatre Movie Classic night

[9/29] FIGMENT Oakland 2018, 10 AM to 6 PM

Richmond, CA
[8/11] Dress like Rosie the Riveter for the Rosie Rally Home Front Festival, 11 AM to 4 PM at Craneway Pavilion

San Francisco, CA
[Now through Halloween] San Francisco Ghost Hunt Walking Tour

[8/6] Adventure Design Group conversation and presentation: Lost Horizons Night Market with Mark Krawczuk at the Laundry Gallery and Cafe; Free, 7 PM to 9:30 PM

[8/11] Rooftop Park opening block party, 12 PM to 4 PM, FREE (You have to see this thing!)

[8/30] Nerd Rock Returns: Three Day Stubble and more at SF Eagle, 9 PM

[9/28] Rental Car Rally to Tahoe


Thanks, Isabel!

Rusty’s Electric Dreams is a (mostly) weekly inbox zine by Rusty Blazenhoff for positive deviants and the people who love them.

Described as, “One of the most inspiring, weird and off-kilter collections of curated kitschy ephemera for the big-brained.”

People like it.

:: Read the archives :: Send a tip :: SUBSCRIBE ::




Inbox zine