The “One Bad Apple” Edition :: Issue #313, Rusty’s Electric Dreams

“When she breaks the tender peel, to taste the apple in my hand, her breath will still, her blood congeal, then I’ll be fairest in the land!”

— Evil Witch, “Snow White”

An inbox zine for positive deviants and the people who love them
Issue #313 :: The “One Bad Apple” Edition :: 11:03:2021

One Bad Apple

I promised you my Halloween costume. I promised that I wouldn’t let you down. Welp, I am going to let you down, at least until next Halloween. It’s for a good reason though. I flubbed up the costume overall and need an entire year to make it right. I’m sure you understand. It’ll be a mildly amusing tale to tell next year.

Anyhoo, Halloween. So, I didn’t want to buy candy to give out to trick-or-treaters this year because it’s way too tempting to have it in the house! But I didn’t want to be a jerk either, so I gave out chips and Fluff. There were way more kids this year though and we ran out fast. So SJ and I had to improvise. We scrounged around and found all kinds of fun, cool, and weird things to give out, as is the Blazenhoff Way ™.

Like.. hotel toiletries, fully wrapped tea bags, unopened boxes of incense, a tiny velvet sombrero, tradeshow-acquired temporary tattoos, a too-small-to-be-a-Fluff wig, and who knows what else. We left it all out for them, lit some candles, read our tarot to each other, and watched the fun through our door cam—Halloween TV! Soon that plastic cauldron emptied and we dug up more stuff to fill it with from the garage, kitchen pantry, and our desks. All treats, no tricks. Such a good night!

Rusty Blazenhoff

As seen on the Internets

This drug identification kit isn’t mine, it’s my pal’s, but I have one too. I blogged about mine over 10 years ago now and it was my first post to spread big globally. Now I’m the person people find when they have a question about one or want to sell theirs. This is what happened Monday when my pal wanted to sell his. He wanted some help getting the word out but then ended up immediately almost selling it to someone at DanceSafe. Though you missed out on buying it, he did dig up an interesting (though incomplete) article from 1970 that I had never seen before. The first line reads, “Winston Jackson makes a living selling marijuana and heroin. But his products are harmless fakes used to teach the dangers of drug abuse.” Ha! Well, I love mine and will never sell it. In fact, it’s proudly displayed in my living room for all who stumble in my humble abode to see and admire. If you have to have one, they do pop up on eBay from time to time.

:: Stouffer’s Stove Top Stuffing isn’t a product, and never has been!

:: The device that helped those “canaries in coal mines”

:: Muppet band Electric Mayhem covers Electric Light Orchestra

:: The art of carving gravestones is alive and well
:: Thanks, Greg!

:: How to really remember people’s names

:: Another reminder: down with the patriarchy! Thanks, Bub!

:: Punks With Lunch (West Oakland) needs donated supplies

:: This human lava lamp costume is incredible

:: Sky Bars taste disappointingly bad but I’d still go to this place

Real moka pot you can actually buy: yay!

I love my boring old grey moka pot, I do. But I won’t lie, I am pretty tempted to replace it with this one that’s WEARING AN ALPINE HAT. My gawd, how darling! Also, found separately, if you make your coffee in a moka pot, you have to watch this video. It gives pointers on cleaning it and making coffee the right way. (I’m reminded of Riiiicolaaaaa—though there’s not actually a hat in that ad.)Real liner notes I actually wrote
:: Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra’s “financial record” dropped
:: The liner notes, by yours truly:
Congrats to ALL the winners of last month’s raffle! Enjoy your art-goodies!

Real word that officially exists: yay!

Featured Events

[Oakland, CA :: 11/13] Nemo Gould has a one-evening pop-up exhibit, Reverse Engineered, coming up on November 13 at 465 9th Street, 5 to 8 p.m.

[12/12The Krampus & The Old, Dark Christmas with Al Ridenour, a Zoom lecture

[San Francisco ::11/6] Skot Kulper’s The Ocean Room Soft Opening with Mark Growden & Amber Lee Baker, 350 Ocean Avenue, 8 to 10 p.m., masks required [Related: Mark’s Calling All Choir is now auditioning.]

[Crockett :: now] Master tin tinkerer Dave Yoas is exhibiting at Epperson Gallery right now.

[Oakland :: Now through 11/28Ofrenda at OMCA: “Pay tribute to loved ones lost at a special ofrenda (altar) created by OMCA’s El Día de los Muertos Volunteer Community Committee. In remembrance of COVID-19 victims, the altar provides an opportunity to honor those whom we mourn in the community and to create personal offerings to add to the ofrenda.”

[Richmond :: 11/13Rogue Cinema: “Join us for this unsanctioned ‘pirate’ screening of the new indie film, Burning Man the Musical! Plus ‘Live Therapy’ by original Burning Man Ranger Danger Angel (Jennifer Holmes) to address the psychic wounds inflicted by the satire.” Point San Pablo Harbor, 7 to 11 p.m. I’ll be there!

[San Francisco :: 11/17Super Shangri-La ShowWar of the Wizards (1978) & Hercules in the Haunted World (1961) at Balboa Theater, 7 p.m.

[Oakland :: Through 12/12] Playhouse: Puppets by Bill Walker “A toy maker’s roll call for all the characters throughout history who informed his own Transgender identity. Technicolor puppets of all shapes and sizes capture the gender bending, body horror, euphoria, rage, power, and filthy humor that is the Queer and Trans legacy.” Compound Gallery, 1167 65th Street

[Berkeley :: 1/21-1/26] Fran Lebowitz at Berkeley Rep, tickets on sale 11/12

[Brooklyn :: starts 11/12] Empire Circus

What's up, my fellow trees?

If you weren’t already aware, this is a take on the “How do you do my fellow kids” meme. I was just going to post it with no explanation, because I think it’s funny as is. But then something related, and even funnier, happened. Ok, so the original meme is based on a short clip from 30 Rock in which Steve Buscemi plays an undercover cop dressed as a teenager in a high school and delivers that line. It’s pretty funny but what’s really funny is that Steve dressed up like that “fellow kids” character for Halloween and handed out candy to trick or treaters in Brooklyn!

Rusty’s Electric Dreams is a fortnightly inbox zine by Rusty Blazenhoff for positive deviants and the people who love them. If this was forwarded to you, please consider subscribing yourself.

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Publisher and Editor-in-Chief: Rusty Blazenhoff




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