A year ago yesterday, I took a giant leap of faith by leaving my coveted position at Laughing Squid. Many times while sitting at that desk, I had hoped it would go on forever, but things change and change they did.
Some said I was crazy to leave and some still haven’t noticed I left. Others cheered me on.
Truth is, I didn’t know what was next. I just knew it was time to find out.
I have had a few false starts. Early in the year, I came close to hitching my wagon to Upworthy’s star. In late spring, I enthusiastically took a gig at CNET, only to find out that it was not the place for me. By summer, it felt as if my soul had been irreversibly crushed and that I would never find my way through the confusion, a place one of my three therapists this year had labeled, the “fertile void.”
Even up until a few weeks ago, I did not truly believe I was going to break through. My internal resistance was strong.
As I sit here hammering this out, I am ecstatic to report that I broke through. Well, let me restate that, I am breaking through. It’s an active process. It began to really happen when I filed the documents to legally change my name to “Rusty Blazenhoff,” a name I gave myself nearly 20 years ago. Around the time I filed those papers last month, it hit me, I needed to create something in the digital space that is more personal. I had an epiphany that an email from a friend is similar to the experience of getting a juicy handwritten letter, you know when snail mail was the thing.
So here we are. This is issue #5. Since last week, I’ve changed the name from The Newsletter Thingamabob by Rusty Blazenhoff to Rusty’s Electric Dreams (a nod to my favorite movie, Electric Dreams). I’m also calling it an “inbox zine” since I consider it a more creative endeavor than simply a “newsletter.” (Dare I call it digital mail art? Perhaps not yet.)
Oh ya, Blazenfluff. Let’s just call that the “stopgap” project. I haven’t quite decided what to do with it yet.
Welcome to the beginning.
I’m so glad you’re here to share this with me,
Rusty “is she real?” Blazenhoff
“Fantasy and microchips,
Shooting from the hip,